Why write?

For over a decade, I have been dabbling with writing as a kind of hobby--mostly working on a young adult novel and children's picture books. I've also done a lot of journaling as a way to try understanding myself and the world. And of course, most of my jobs have involved writing: quarterly summaries, incident reports, departmental support via email, etc. Recently, I decided to try focusing more on writing, to see if it was something I really wanted to do vocationally. But on which kind did I want to focus? Non-fiction, such as SEO or other types of ghostwriting, or even articles for magazines? Or memoir-type essays? Or fiction? 

So of course I started trying to do ALL of the ideas. And after a couple of months of that, I can report that is NOT working. There are so many things milling around in my head that they are crowding each other out. I go round in circles and sometimes end up doing NONE of the ideas.

Which one, then, should be the focus? Would it help if I knew why I want to write?

Six months ago, I would have said I want to write fiction because it's more fun than my day-job. Wouldn't it be great to have a fun job? But since I'm now trying to understand the writing urge and my place in the writing world, I have not just been exploring other types of writing, but other reasons to write besides enjoyment. So far I have collected the following reasons (and please note that these aren't necessarily my reasons!):

• To have a creative outlet.
• To have fun, a hobby, or a way to relax.
• Because you are obsessed with writing (or at least with your specific writing project).
• Because it's on your bucket list to see if you can write a book. 
• To understand or make sense of the world or your own thoughts.
• To ask a question and try to answer it.
• To discover something.
• To understand another point of view, possibly creating empathy for yourself and others.
• To entertain.
• To enlighten or teach.
• Because you like the feeling of having never-ending homework.
• Because whenever you write, you find out something new about yourself. 
• To vent.
• To get revenge.
• To remember and/or to help others remember.
• To record information/share information.
• To get attention.
• To try and impress someone.
• To promote literacy.
• Because it's your therapy.
• Because it's your happy place.
• To expose hidden information.
• To perpetuate wrong information/ propaganda; to confuse/manipulate.
• To share your personal story.
• Because your job requires it. 
• Because your school requires it.
• To connect with other people.
• To sell something.
• To influence others.
• To escape.
• To create another world and go live in it.
• To convince others of your point of view.
• Because you would rather write than do anything else.
• Because you like to give your brain a good workout.
• To encourage.
• To change the world.
• To share your story with your family or the world.
• Because your horoscope for this year told you that you would write a book.
• Because you couldn't find the kind of book you wanted so you decided to write it.
• To be understood; to be seen and heard for who you really are. 
• To challenge yourself.
• To make a living.
• To earn extra money. 
• To let your alter-ego out to play, let your freak fly, let your dark side out.
• Because someone once told you that you'd make a great author.
• Because you are bored.
• Because you can't think of any other kind of job you'd rather do.
• To be rich and famous.
• To win prizes.
• Because you find the process of writing fascinating. 
• Because you love words and how they fit together and how they sound together and you could just rearrange word magnets on the fridge all day every day and be a happy camper.

GAH! That's a lot of possible reasons. Not really helping pick a focus, but quite a bit further along in my writing quest than "I want to write because it's fun!"

I guess it's silly of me to have assumed simplicity with this task--what in life worth doing is ever simple, after all? The list above is making my head spin, and for practical reasons, I do need to focus, so for now I'm going to do what I usually do in trying to figure things out: I'm going to see how I feel about it.

Day-job writing hasn't been particularly creative, but it's usually been satisfying in that it's complete in a short time, and connecting in that someone else usually reads it right away. 

The process of journaling is therapeutic,  engaging, and freeing and I usually feel amazing when I'm done.
 
Writing essays/short stories is engrossing, but halfway through I often blob out, thinking that this couldn't possibly be interesting or useful to anyone. 

Writing children's books feels silly and light.
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And working on my novel...that's the most complex one--that's a rollercoaster writing experience. Fun, maddening, engrossing, surprising. And also the one that I can't stay away from. No matter how long I've gone between drafts or how crazy-making it is, I always come back to it. 

So maybe that's enough for now. Maybe I don't need to define it or know exactly why I want to write. Maybe it's enough to acknowledge that something compels me to do it, to come back to it, to stick with it. So I will.

Why do you write?

I forgot to add: Because it's so glamorous! :)